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I have these muffins in the oven right now. I made a big batch since I want to take some to a potluck at our friends’ out on Sauvie Island. Such a perfect day for a drive out there.

This recipe will yield 24 regular sized muffins or 48 mini muffins.

Ingredients

4 1/2 cups almond meal (I like to use Honeyville almond flour, although I wish it was organic)
4 ripe bananas
1/2 tsp real salt or Celtic sea salt (I buy both from Azure Standard)
1 tsp baking soda
2 tbsp cinnamon powder, sweet
1/4 lbd melted butter
6 farm fresh eggs (I used eggs from KTF vendor Cascade Grass Fed)
1 cup dark chocolate chips
2 cups walnuts, chopped

Directions

  1. Mash bananas in a mixing bowl with a fork or stick blender.
  2. Add eggs and butter and mix together.
  3. In another mixing bowl, add almond flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon and stir until there are no clumps.
  4. Add the dry ingredients bit by bit to the wet ingredients while stirring.
  5. Add walnuts and chocolate chips.
  6. Scoop into your muffin tins. I find that almond flour muffins tend to stick a lot more than grain flour muffins, so I prefer to use muffin papers.
  7. Bake on 350F for appx 15 minutes.

Enjoy!

I came up with this dinner tonight when I was trying to think of ways to use the chicken meat I removed the other day off of the chicken I am making Perpetual Broth with. This recipe also uses some of the broth itself, which is great!

Ingredients

2 tablespoons butter
splash of olive oil
3 medium carrots, peeled and finely chopped – except for a few matchsticks for garnish
1 medium onion, finely chopped
1 red bell pepper, finely chopped – except for a few thinly sliced pieces for garnish
2 cloves garlic and/or a few inches of garlic greens
Celtic sea salt, to taste
1 cup cooked chicken meat, shredded
2 tablespoons curry powder
2 cans coconut milk or cream (unsweetened)
appx 20 oz chicken broth
optional:  2 tablespoons fish sauce
a few sprigs of cilantro
some red chili pepper flakes, to taste

Note: Reserve some of the coconut milk, carrots, red bell pepper and cilantro for optional garnish. If you’re not grain free, you can add a cup of cooked rice to it too.

Directions

  1. In a soup pot, heat butter and olive oil on medium heat.
  2. Add chopped onion, carrots, garlic and red bell pepper and cook till onions are soft, for approximately 5 minutes.
  3. Add curry powder, fish sauce if using and chicken to the pot.
  4. Continue stirring and sauteing everything until curry powder is completely incorporated (appx 2-3 minutes).
  5. Pour chicken broth and coconut milk into the pot and give it a good stir for a half minute.
  6. Salt to taste.
  7. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium-low and allow the soup to cook for 15-20 minutes.
  8. Serve with a spoonful of coconut milk added on top with reserved veggies, cilantro and red chili pepper flakes for garnish.

Enjoy!

Making and consuming broth has been on my to do list for a while now, especially since I was diagnosed with Small Intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth (SIBO) about a year ago just before I got pregnant. There are a few different treatments for SIBO involving either antibiotics or going on a diet like the Specific Carbohydrate Diet (SCD) or the Gut and Psychology Diet (GAPS), which are designed to help restore a healthy gut flora. Broth is very nourishing and can also help help a damaged gut, so it is a big part of these kinds of diets.

So far my broth making has been sporadic at best. I am hoping this is going to change now that I have learned about Perpetual Broth! I discovered this method when I read this post about making stock by my friends over at The Liberated Kitchen.

I immediately ordered an 8 Quart Slow Cooker that could fit a large chicken, and added a stewing chicken from Taylor Made Farm to my KTF shopping cart. (This could also be a good use for any of your own laying hens that need to be retired.) Since I planned on using a whole chicken, as opposed to the carcass from a roasted chicken (since we don’t really eat chicken), I decided to research this method some more to make sure you can actually make perpetual meat broth. My conclusion was that meat broth should only be cooked for a few hours, so I modified the directions a bit for using a whole bird. Here is what I did/am doing. Today is just Day 1, so I will report back with any issues that arise.

Perpetual Broth

  1. Buy a pastured chicken from a farmer. If it’s frozen, thaw it in the fridge over night.
  2. Put the whole bird in your slow cooker. You can also add some veggie scraps such as parsley, onion, garlic and celery, a couple sweet bay leaves and a few peppercorns. 
  3. Cover the bird with filtered water.
  4. Turn your slow cooker up to high. When the water starts to boil off, turn it down to low.
  5. After a few hours, the chicken will be cooked. Remove the meat and reserve for other dishes, such as chicken stew or shredded chicken tacos. I cooked the chicken over night and removed all the meat off of the chicken about 12 hrs after I started cooking it, but this post says you can just remove the meat as needed for other meals you make during the week. I may try that in the future, but since we usually don’t eat chicken I figured it’d be safer to remove it all at once (and use up later) since I had read that leaving the meat to cook for that long could yield poor results.
  6. Throw the carcass and bones back into the slow cooker and continue cooking all week.
  7. During the week, as you need broth you can simple ladle out the amount you need and top off with more filtered water.
  8. From what I have read, the bones will continue to make broth for about 4-7 days until they are so brittle that they just crumble when pressed.
  9. At the end of their usefulness, strain the stock and bones through a colander or coffee filter. Use up the last of your broth and compost the bones.
  10. Wash up your pot, and start all over again!

 

Whoops, I can’t believe it’s been over two years since I have blogged!

I have to apologize for completely dropping the ball on documenting our journey towards real food. When I took on the project of “The Warehouse,” I just became too busy and a bit overwhelmed with figuring out everything that running a small business entails. It would have been wonderful to document the past two years — the mistakes, learning experiences, small victories — but suffice it to say the last two years have been crazy, busy, awesome, scary, empowering, hectic, inspiring, stressful, challenging, and wonderful all mixed together.

Our Farm Direct and Bulk Food Buying Club has grown and evolved a lot. We now have over 750 members and are helping more families than ever source better quality food, at better prices too. We work with many wonderful local farmers and vendors who produce real food without any weird stuff in it. It’s been so long since I have shopped for our food in a grocery store, that when I do end up going to a grocery store for an odd item here and there, I am literally overtaken by a feeling of surrealism when I see the aisles upon aisles of mass manufactured “food” in cans, bags and boxes. It’s amazing how learning about the manufacturing processes of, say, boxed cereal really changed my perception of this item that I used to regularly buy and feed my kids. I don’t think we will ever go back to buying that kind of “convenience food” again.

In other areas, I still have a long way to go. Keeping up with my garden has been a real challenge. As much as I tried, I have not been able to make our back yard produce much food for our family despite planting lots of fruit trees, berries and trying my hand at vegetable gardening. Mainly I found that I am away from home too much to be able to tend to my garden as needed. Too many times, a hot sunny day meant I’d return to 3 foot tall, bolted lettuce, arugula and broccoli. And the poor blueberry bushes suffered without irrigation. Another problem is that I don’t know how to prune trees at all. I realized I was a bit of a “garden hoarder,” not wanting to cut any of the luscious green branches off of any of our trees and bushes or thin any of the vegetable crops. As a result, everything grew like mad, but nothing produced properly. All the plants’ energy went to growing foliage instead of crops. We finally decided to hire someone to cut everything back, so I am hoping our fruit trees will produce some fruit now that they are properly pruned and I can finally enjoy that edible landscaping that I have been wanting.

Recently, the last of our chickens were killed off by racoons, so right now we are not producing our own eggs either. After that happened we decided to take a small break from backyard chicken keeping, but I really miss having our own fresh eggs, so I have ordered four new chickens from The Little Homestead — a wonderful small local farm that offers an amazing “All You Can Eat” CSA program, which includes a share of all of the farm’s production (including chickens). The farmer, Joanne, has agreed to raise the chicks for me to pullet size, which means I won’t have to deal with setting up a brooder indoors right now.

My idea of urban homesteading has not unfolded exactly as imagined. Instead it’s been put on the back burner, while I’ve plunged into learned about running a small business. Recently, however, I have taken a step back from all of these things to welcome our 4th child into our family. Our daughter Josephina Salomée was born March 28th, 2012, and we are still mostly at home, resting and getting to know each other. Soon enough we will have to get back into things, and figure out how to balance all the needs and wants of our family. With 4 kids, a home and a couple businesses to run (and a blog to keep up with if all goes well!), I am anticipating having to find a new rhythm in order to stay sane.

 

Today I realized this month is my 2 year anniversary of starting this blog and embarking on our food awakening/adventure! That’s 2 years of (mostly) not shopping in a grocery store and trying to source a local, all organic diet for my family. What started out as a 1-2 month experiment is now our way of life and I still love this way of buying our food, and so does Dan, by the way.

For us, eliminating trips to the grocery store has been great, but I have a sense that this is a big obstacle for some people who want to get their budget under control. I completely remember how confused I was in the beginning myself. I had no real clue about bulk buying and just dove in head first. I remember wishing I had someone to tell me, “for a 3 month supply, you need to buy 5 lbs of this, 5 lbs of that” etc… I had no idea how much our family consumed, how long I could store foods or even really how to prepare home cooked meals….

Left to my own devices, I dropped a lot of money for a few months in a row and bought a bunch of bulk goods– waaaay too much of certain things, not enough of others. I went back and read over my blog posts on this site, and had to laugh at some of my projections about how long some of the food I initially bought from Azure Standard would last us. I estimated I was buying a couple months’ supplies, but 2 years later and we *still* have grains and legumes from that very first Azure drop! We are almost through most of the different varieties of beans I bought, but still have a lot of grains. I think my big mistake was to buy items we normally never ate and didn’t have a clue how to prepare, like amaranth and millet, and assume I would just learn everything I needed to know. Another mistake was definitely simply buying too much all at once not knowing that our dietary preferences would evolve away from grains towards the Paleo Diet. If I knew then what I know now, I would have focused our bulk buys of dry goods on nuts, seeds and some gluten free grains like quinoa, kasha and rice.

Given all the grains and legumes still in our pantry, our food spendings are comparatively low. I don’t have exact numbers anymore, but these are the ranges of our monthly spendings on food for a family of 4 + baby (keep in mind I eat like 2 people since I am nursing), excluding eating out and also excluding the large preservation quantities of tomatoes, apples, peaches etc that I buy in season:

$110 farm CSA veggies
$120 fruit from OGC
$36-54 raw milk
$7-14 eggs
$50 Thundering Hooves meats
$50-300 various vendors (spices, nuts, flour, oils, maple syrup, canned tuna, mayo, ketchup, cheese etc)
total appx $373-648 (I’d say 75% of months fall into the lower category)

That being said, I think there’s a lot of benefits to eating and shopping this way, and I love helping people have access to good foods through PGP’s food buying group. I have been wanting to develop a more systematic way of helping people who are interested in saving money, buying in bulk, not shopping at the grocery store etc, so that they don’t have to go through a trial and error process the way I did. I am thinking about developing something like manual to everything you would need for x number of months of healthy home cooked meals, with appx dollar amounts attached to it to give an idea of how much money you’d be spending (and hopefully saving over other ways of buying). If you are a PGP member you would also be able to source all the ingredients through our food buying club.

For example, for a family of 4 on the Paleo diet, a monthly food package could look like this:
- 20 lbs meats $100
- 8 dozen eggs $30
- fresh produce $200
- 5 lbs coconut and other nut flours $20
- 5 lbs selection of raw seeds and nuts $20
- misc oils, sweeteners, spices $20
total $390

This could easily be scaled up, so someone who wanted to stock up on frozen goods and non-perishables could simply multiply the lbs/month by number of months they want to stockpile to get a total number of pounds needed. Then all they would need to buy on a weekly basis would be perishables like fresh produce, eggs, dairy etc and that could also be arranged for through the food buying group.

Does this sound like something you might find useful? What else should I include? Recipes? Storage tips? Must have kitchen gadgets? Sources of suppliers? How to make farm-direct connections and build relationships with vendors? Please tell me in the comment section.

It’s been about 18 months since a small little seed was planted and I started dreaming of having our own warehouse to accommodate our growing food buying activities. That dream is still alive and well and has been growing and taking root in my mind. Last April, I applied (unsuccessfully) for a commercial location just a block from our home, pretty much right at the same time I found out I was pregnant. I took the denial of the application as a sign that I should rest and not overdo it while expecting our 3rd child.

But now that the little man is already 2 months old, I feel ready to take on the project of finding Portland Green Parenting a commercial location once again. Thanks to a tip from a friend, I have found an amazing 5,670 sq ft space in the Brooklyn neighborhood, and am in the process of going through the permitting process to change the occupancy classification to something that will accommodate all of PGP’s varied needs.

Tell me more about the space!
The space is located in the Brooklyn neighborhood, which is a bit of an under served area, but a nice working class neighborhood with lots of families. The space used to be a bakery for thirty years, but most recently it was an interior decorating store that sold window treatments and flooring and went under when the housing market crashed. The space is centrally located close to Ross Island Bridge and freeways, has lots of street parking, and is across the street from Brooklyn Park. There is a theater, a tavern and a bookstore within a couple of blocks. It has a 860 sq ft store front retail space, some offices, a large indoor courtyard, a small kitchen, and a large warehouse with a roll-up door in the back. There is also a huge walk-in cooler available. The rent is appx $1/sq ft for the front retail and office spaces, and $.50/sq ft for the warehouse, although I hope to negotiate reduced rent for the first year.

Why is this space perfect for Portland Green Parenting?
My dream is for PGP to be an active, thriving community hub where families can get together to share resources, make friends, and combat the isolation that is so common when you become a parent or just in the city in general. PGP was formed with the vision of having like minded parents of young children come together to grow, learn, have fun and support each other around the theme of creating “greener,” more sustainable lives (with just a little bit of peer pressure mixed in to help us achieve our goals). The idea was to foster an environment where members can inspire and learn from other families on a similar journey, build lasting friendships for themselves and their kids, and cultivate a stronger, more vibrant local community. PGP seeks to do this by offering a home for many different Family and Earth friendly products and services, such as:

  • Know Thy Food – a food cooperative through which families can source organic, local and sustainably grown food while sticking to a budget
  • Children’s Resale Shop – a consignment shop for used children’s clothing and toys
  • Indoor “Courtyard Café” – a cafe/community room that will house a playspace, offer a snack bar with sandwiches, smoothies and coffee for sale, and host a variety of special events (puppet shows, story time, mommy and me yoga, support groups, workshops and classes, farm dinners and lots more)
  • Office space for family oriented professional services
  • Community kitchen for canning parties and other food related workshops

This sounds great! How can I get involved?
The easy way to get involved is to become a member and shop with us!
PGP is offering memberships on a “Pay What you Can” basis in 2010 in order to be accessible to all. The membership gives you access to our private online forums, social calendar and food buying group, and once we secure our commercial location, you will have access to lots of Family and Earth friendly activities and a space to hang out at and connect with friends and like-minded families.

We will be looking for professional service providers, instructors and facilitators for things like massage, acupuncture, yoga, children’s music and movement, support groups, and more. We will need lots of help connecting with local farmers and producers  in order to keep up with growing demand for fresh, seasonal produce, meats and eggs. We intend to host monthly Farm Dinners and invite guest speakers. We will have classes and workshops on topics of interest. Current members have already expressed interest in tool and toy lending libraries… in short, there are many ways to get involved and help PGP manifest as a welcoming and supportive community hub!

If you have any questions, suggestions or comments, please contact me at rebecca@portlandgreenparenting.com. I hope to welcome you to PGP soon!

Catching up…

Wow, things can be crazy and time flies when you have a newborn!

First the lil man didn’t want to sleep– apparently he arrived into this world completely jet lagged and preferred sleeping all day and staying up screaming all night. Lucky for him, he is cute– even when he makes his “sad face.”

baby-paz.jpg  paz.jpg

We are firmly opposed to any type of CIO or sleep training, so one of us always stays up, holding him as he fusses and cries. Thankfully, my mom is here visit for an extended stay, so between us 3 adults, at least 1 of us has been able to get some sleep, some of the time… but even so, just listening to a baby cry and feeling so helpless not being able to soothe him is rough. I am so thankful the little baby-man seems to have adjusted to a more normal schedule finally although it still takes 3 sets of arms to take care of him during the day if one of us wants to get anything productive done, like say, cook dinner.

Speaking of dinner, I have to plug Mark’s Daily Apple and his recipe for coconut pancakes. I made these the other day for dinner, and served them with my own home canned apple sauce and peach syrup, and they were delicious! I doubled the recipe below and it yielded 6 good sized pancakes.

Coconut Pancakes

Drizzle these with honey and berries, wrap up some bacon and eggs for a Primal breakfast burrito, or just eat them plain. These things are incredibly easy to make.

Ingredients:
4 eggs
1/4 cup coconut flour
1/4 tsp vanilla extract
1 pinch nutmeg (I used a large pinch freshly ground, yumm!)
1 pinch cinnamon (I used pumpkin pie spice)
1 tablespoon honey
1/4 cup coconut milk, full fat (I used raw cow’s milk)

Method:
Mix these ingredients and let them sit for five minutes. Oil or grease up your pan and heat over medium heat. Pour about a 1/4 cup of batter for each crepe, allowing each side to brown before flipping it.

Lately we’ve fallen back to eating a lot more grains than I’d like. I think breastfeeding a newborn causes me to crave foods that I normally don’t eat– like donuts and other baked goods, usually at midnight. I have noticed it’s a bit of a vicious cycle: the more I eat grains, the more I crave them. All that sugar and flour in combination can be quite addictive, so I want to try and curb it by baking more with coconut flour and almond meal instead of regular flour. My goal is still to get us on the Paleo Diet, but we still have a pantry stocked with a decent amount of grains and legumes.

In other Paleo Diet news, I have even started eating some meat here and there! We had a wonderful 2 week long meal train set up after the baby was born, and some of the dishes included meat. The other day, I made my Spicy Bean & Bacon Chili again, and today, Dan made a Meaty Soup. Not sure exactly how he made it, but there was some onion, two skirt steaks and some marrow bones from Thundering Hooves, black beans, cumin, bay leaves and maybe some chili powder in the pot when I saw it. I added a can of tomato paste and corn from 4 ears that I had frozen and forgotten about from last summer’s CSA. We ate it with avocado cubes on top, and it was actually much tastier than I expected. I also feel a lot better eating this meat knowing where it comes from and that the animals got to live a happier life than cows in confinement lots do, and eat their natural diet– grass, not grains.

(If you don’t know why grain fed beef is nasty, watch King Corn.)

This is the 1st ever Thanksgiving dinner I have prepared/hosted at home. It was a low key, fun evening with our now family of 5, my mom who’s visiting from Finland and her friend Kendall (who took the family photo of us below), and of course LOTS and LOTS of yummy, almost all ultra local food made with veggies from our CSA (just 15 miles away)!

dinner.jpg esmee.jpg dinner2.jpg

Most of these recipes are modified from our CSA’s blog.

The main course:
Baked Acorn Squash with Herbed Stuffing

1 medium to large acorn squash
1 cup rice, cooked
3-4 slices bacon, baked in the oven till crispy
handful ground up pecans
handful dried, sweetened cranberries
1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh sage leaves (or 1 teaspoon dried)
1 teaspoon finely minced fresh rosemary (or ¼ teaspoon dried)
1 sprig fresh thyme leaves, finely chopped (or ¼ teaspoon dried)
Preheat oven to 350?F. Cut each squash in half lengthwise. Scoop out the seeds. Place squash halved, cut side down, in a covered baking dish. Add several tablespoons of water to the dish, and bake until tender, approximately 40-60 minutes. Remove from oven and allow to cool slightly. Mix rice, herbs, nuts, cranberries and bacon (chop it up first) in a big bowl. Heap filling into the squash shells. Cover, and return to oven for another 20 minutes or until heated through. Each half can be cut in half lengthwise. Serves 2-4.

Side dishes:
Sage and Kale Cornbread Dressing (Stuffing)

5 cups coarse crumbled cornbread (See recipe below for Black Pepper Cornbread, below)
7 tablespoons butter
2 medium onions, chopped
5 large kale leaves, center spine removed, slivered (about 6 cups)
3 tablespoons chopped fresh sage or 1 tablespoon dried, crumbled
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
4 cups ground up, raw walnuts
1/4 cup chicken stock or canned low-salt broth
1 egg, beaten to blend

Crumble cornbread coarsely onto large cookie sheet. Let stand uncovered at room temp overnight to dry. Melt butter in heavy large skillet over medium heat. Add onion and cook until tender, stirring frequently. Add kale and cook until kale wilts, about 5 min. Transfer mixture to large bowl. Mix in sage, salt and pepper. Add cornbread crumbs and walnuts to vegetables. Mix stock with egg in small bowl. Stir into dressing. You can stuff into the turkey and/or cook in a ovenproof dish and bake at 350°F for 45 minutes to and hour. Makes about 10 cups.

Black Pepper Cornbread (enough for 5 cups as called for above)

3/4 cup flour
3/4 cup yellow cornmeal
1 1/2 tablespoons sugar
1 Tbs baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
3/4 cup milk
1 egg
2 Tbs butter, melted

Preheat oven to 400. Butter an 8-inch square baking pan. Mix together first 6 ingredients in large bowl. Mix milk with egg and butter, and pour over dry ingredients, stir until just moistened; do not over mix. Spoon batter into pan, bake until light brown, about 15 min.

Sweet and Sour Glazed Brussels Sprouts

4 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 1/2 tablespoons light brown sugar
2 pounds Brussels sprouts, trimmed and halved through core if large
12 small shallots, halved lengthwise
1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar

Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 400?F degrees. Melt butter and sugar together in microwave. Toss Brussels sprouts, shallots, butter mixture, vinegar, 3/4 teaspoon salt, and 1/2 teaspoon pepper in large bowl. Scatter on rimmed baking sheet and roast until golden brown, about 30 minutes, shaking pan every 10 minutes to redistribute vegetables. Serves 8.

Parsnip Oven-Fries with Yogurt-Curry Dipping Sauce

1 pound parsnips
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 tbsp Garam Masala
¼ teaspoon salt
½ cup plain yogurt
1 tablespoon curry powder
1 small green onion, minced

Peel parsnips. Cut into 2 inch x 1/2-inch sticks. In bowl, toss together parsnips, oil, and spices. Bake on greased baking sheet in 425? F oven, turning occasionally, for 30 to 40 minutes or until browned and tender. In small bowl, stir together yogurt, curry, and green onion. Serve sauce with parsnip fries.

 Raw Cranberry Apple Relish

2 lbs raw cranberries
6 apples, peeled and cored
1 large orange

Mix all ingredients in food processor to the consistency of coarse apple sauce. Serve chilled.

Vegetarian Gravy

1/2 cup vegetable oil
3-6 cloves of garlic, squashed and minced very well
2-3 slices of yellow onion, chopped
1/2 cup all-purpose white flour
4 teaspoons nutritional yeast
4 tablespoons soy sauce
2 cups water
1/2 teaspoon sage
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
5 or 6 white mushrooms, sliced

Measure the vegetable oil into a small saucepan. Cook the garlic and onion in it for about two minutes on medium or medium-low heat, until the onion is a bit tender and translucent.

Add the flour, yeast, and soy sauce to make a paste. Add the water gradually, stirring constantly. Bring the gravy to a boil on medium to medium-high heat, stirring constantly — the gravy has to boil for it to thicken. (Grandma always told me to cook gravy for a full five minutes at a boil to make sure you kill the bugs in the flour, but I don’t always bother.) Add pepper. Stir in the sliced mushrooms, if desired. Add salt, if desired.

If the gravy is too thin for your taste, add one or two tablespoons of flour or small amounts of cornstarch to thicken it and add home-made-looking lumps. Use a wire whisk to eliminate lumps.

Serve piping hot.

Dessert:
Pumpkin Pie (made from a real pumpkin)

Drinks:
Iced tea
Lemonade

Dan also made a sausage gravy and mashed potatoes. It was all delicious, if I may say so myself!

I had a prenatal appt at home at 7 pm on tuesday 11/17 with my wonderful midwife, Alexandra Demetro. While we were chatting about how I thought nothing was really happening and how it’d probably be 2 more weeks, I also mentioned to her whenever I’d have a Braxton Hicks contrax. After a few of those, she commented that they seemed regular at about 8-10 mins apart. By the end of the appt, my BH had changed quality too and felt more like mild menstrual cramps than just tightness.
I checked my cervix before I went to bed, and I was about 2 finger tips dilated, ie still the same it had been since 32 weeks. I went to bed pretty convinced the cramps didn’t mean a thing and slept for a bit, but kept waking up from the crampy feeling. I decided it was a good time to listen to some Hypnobabies CDs and practice ‘ignoring’ the discomfort of the cramps, so I did that for a while and was finally able to sleep a bit more.

On Wednesday morning the cramps continued. I started worrying I had messed up something when I checked myself and put myself into what was going to be a few days, if not weeks, of annoying/unproductive/prodromal labor. I called Alexandra to ask what she thought, and she came over to check me. (This was my 1st pelvic exam of my entire pregnancy, by the way, how awesome is that!) She said I was 3-4 cm, 90% effaced, and the baby was at station +2. She thought the birth would be that evening. I was still not convinced because the cramps were isolated to the front lower part of my abdomen only and felt mild enough that I didn’t think they were really productive.

Either way, the cramps continued all day, at some point they got closer together, like 5-6 mins apart and started to be uncomfortable enough to where I decided to listen to some more Hypnobabies CDs. I still thought it wasn’t really going to happen that day, but really enjoyed visualizing my cervix melting away, and welcoming the contrax as “pressure surges with a smile.” I did a lot of self talk that really helped me cope with the cramps and think of them as productive. I am convinced visualizing and telling myself what was happening inside my body actually helped things along.

At some point, I think maybe around 4-5 pm, I checked myself again and could feel the sac really bulging thru my cervix. I told Dan to start filling the pool. Right then, Alexandra called on the phone, and he told her what he was doing, so she said she start heading over.
The next time I went pee, I got a mirror and looked and the bulging sac was totally visible. Perfect timing, cause right then Alexandra walked in and I showed her what was going on. She was amazed at how calm and happy I was, and said that was the head and hat I should get in the pool.

I got in the pool (with our almost 4 year old daughter who was very excited about getting to swim in our breakfast room) and had Alexandra check me because I didn’t think it was the head. I was at 8 cm. I think I labored for about an hour in the pool with Esmee, and was able to manage the cramps by making up a simple song about baby brother coming that Esmee could sing with me. I also told her to tell me ‘relax mama’ as the contrax came.

Around 7 pm or so, Angela (the student MW) and Adeline Kell (the awesome assistant MW) arrived. By that time, I was starting to feel a bit nauseous and had some dry heaves/burps. I also couldn’t get comfortable and got irritated having with Esmee in the pool with me. (Alexandra later said she knew that I was in transition cause of how irritable I suddenly seemed). It got much harder to keep up with the positive self talk and confidence, and I felt some anxiety about what was about to happen. Somehow I got past it, I remember my MWs telling me my body knew exactly what to do and was doing it, and that really helped me continue to stay calm although it was really hard to fully relax.

The contrax got pretty crazy intense at this point to where I was not able to sing or talk or ohm or smile thru them– I lost track of time, but Dan says they were coming every 2-3 mins apart by then.

I was on my knees leaning against the pool with Dan behind me, putting a ton of counter pressure on my lower back. I kept telling him to push harder cause it felt like nothing to me, meanwhile he was pushing as hard as he could and his hands were sore! My bones were stretching and grinding and I felt the head trying to pass under the bones. I put my hand there and could feel the bag bulging and the head right behind the bag. The bag felt incredible– like it was made out of thick rubber. I tried popping it, but couldn’t do it with my fingers. The contrax were strong, but I didn’t feel the urge to push quite yet. Instead I let the head crown for a few contrax, just staying with the feeling of the bones and skin stretching. It was amazing to feel the head right there with my own hands. I could feel the overlapping seams on my baby’s skulls with my fingers. It felt strange, and I couldn’t understand what it was. I worried it was thick veins on the amniotic sac, but my midwives reassured me it was normal. Finally the bag burst in my hand, and I told the midwives. I heard them say the water was clear. I think I talked to myself a lot, telling myself to relax, it’s ok, it’s just pressure, peace and using other Hypnobabies techniques to stay calm.

The MWs suggested I lean back into Dan so that I could catch my baby as his head started to come out. It was so hard to switch positions from hands and knees to leaning back with his head crowning, but somehow I managed. I kept my eyes closed thru most of this, but later I realized Zoe (my 12 year old) and Esmee (my almost 4 year old) were right there watching their brother be born. We had the lights dim and everyone was quiet and calm. I felt really safe and was totally in my own zone by then. I only got touched a few times when the MWs checked the fetal heart tones for a few quick seconds. It was perfect.

From here I am a bit fuzzy on the exact details, but I spent some time letting the head crown some more. To me, it seemed like it was forever, but Alexandra said it was just 5 mins. I finally got uncontrollable urges to push, so then the next 2-3 contrax (10 mins) I spent pushing the head out. It was incredible how irresistible the urge to push was! I had never felt it before (due to having an epidural with Zoe and experiencing an amazing and very fast fetal ejection reflex with Esmee), and it was really hard to do since, as we later found out, his head was 15″ and he had his hand by his face adding another 1/4″ to the mix. But OMG what a huge relief when the head came out. I can’t even explain how happy I was! and Esmee started squealing and shouting “baby brother, baby brother” and she was so happy as well. It was so great!

After his head came out, he started turning, which is normal, but he just kept going and rotated almost 180 degrees while kicking me on the inside with BOTH feet really hard. He just kept kicking and kicking in the space between contrax, so I didn’t get a break in between those last 2 contrax. It felt really strange/painful to be kicked in the insides like that, and it definitely got me motivated to get the rest of him out fast, so on the next contrax I just pushed him out. Wow, such a relief and so much joy that it was all over! Everyone was so happy. Dan cried. It was sweet.

Paz Francis Daniel was born at 8:21 pm on wed evening 11/18/09, perfectly pink, alert and calm. He looked around for a little bit, took his first breath and gave a little cry, but stopped crying very fast. He produced some gurgling bubbles, but didn’t need to be suctioned. We let the cord pulsate till it was done, and then Esmee and Dan cut it. We stayed in the pool till the next contrax to deliver the placenta. It came at 8:45 pm and was bigger than average as well.

By now the pool water was gnarly, so we all got out of the tub (I got a big tbsp of raw honey because I was feeling a bit whoozy) and moved to the couch. Paz latched on right away like a pro nurser and probably nursed for an hour, passing his first 2 meconium poops on me. He had his newborn exam (we declined eye ointment but accepted 1 drop plant based vit K because of all the bruising), and then he peed on us when he was about to get weighed.

The lil guy weighed in at 8 lbs 14 oz (would have weighed more if he hadn’t pooped and peed twice), measured 20.5 in long and his head was 15″. We’re thinking of naming him Paz Francis Daniel  (after my great grandma/mom, Dan’s grandfather and Dan/my brother).

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